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Lighting Your Pipe

Written by Eric Mathurin

Saturday, 02 July 2005

Do it properly or you'll be sorry

Lighting a pipe isn't a difficult thing, but it's not something that should be done haphazardly! I often lend a pipe to friends when we're in pubs or out camping—and cringe when they fail to heed my sage advice when they merely hold the match into the bowl for a few seconds until smoke comes out. They look all proud, but then they wonder why I'm smoking my pipe an hour after they gave up on their own as a lost cause!

The right way

It may come across as anal retentive to say that there is a correct way to light a pipe, but there is. So pay attention. The key to a good smoke is to ensure that the tobacco is lit evenly. When you stick your match in the pipe for a few seconds only a portion of it will be lit while the rest of the tobacco just sits there. This creates a very tedious affair of continously having to relight and poke the unburnt tobacco around the bowl. So don't do that.

Not all fire is good

First things are first, however. Don't use paper matches. And don't use any lighter that uses lighter fluid. The reason is simple: as they burn, they will impart a nasty taste into your tobacco. You don't want that. Yech. Butane lighters are fine, as are wood matches. (Wood matches, incidentally, are definitely the way to go if you want to be a purist. Or pretentious. Both are good enough reasons, I should think.) Ever since I scorched the top of a beautiful pipe, however, I prefer to use wooden matches (unless it's windy or damp and can't keep them lit).

Char away, friend

So, back to lighting the pipe. You've packed your tobacco properly, right? Of course you have. Good. Now, stick the pipe in your mouth. You've got two free hands, right? A left hand and a right hand? Both free? Correct? (It pains me to do so, but after sadly watching people fumbling around, dropping the pipe, burning their fingers, etc. I feel I must explain in graphic detail what to do.) So, you should have a matchbox in one hand and match in the other. Got it? Good.

Now: Strike the match. Wait until the sulfur has burned up (or your pipe will taste like it) and put the match box down to free up that hand. You will now have a burning match in one hand. With your free hand, steady the pipe bowl (which is still in your mouth, I hope). Now, bring the match over the bowl. Hovering the flame over the tobacco, move the match over in slow circles, covering the entire surface the tobacco. Important: Puff rhymically the entire time. The tobacco will curl up, etc. but this is normal. What's important is to not quit doing this until the match burns out or your pain sensors in your brain indicate this may be a good time to drop the match because the flame has reached your fingers. Now, stop puffing.

A tamp-tamp-tamping we will go

That's right. Stop puffing. Your pipe isn't lit yet—all you've done is prepared it for the real lighting. What you have now done is often called the charring light. In other words, you've made the tobacco crispy and it is now much more likely to catch and burn evenly on the second lighting. But before you light a second time, take your tamper and press down very gently on the tobacco that has inevitably curled up. Lightly, I said! You're not trying to repack the tobacco, you're just flattening it out. So don't use much pressure, okay? Good. Soon you'll be a pro. Now, again:

Faux light aside...

If you're like me, you'll only have managed to blacken a part of the tobacco on the first try. So, light another match and repeat the above step. Move the match slowly over the tobacco, making sure to get all the edges while puffing slowly. You will now either (a) have your pipe evenly lit or (b) it will immediately go out on you. (I'm usually in the latter category, but that's okay.) At any rate, by now the whole top is bound to be very black, ensuring you have the perfect surface for another go at it. By your third match you should be puffing away happily. (If you're puffing properly, that is. But that's another story...)

Match shopping for dummies

Go ahead, laugh. Sure, there a lot of places to buy them, but not all quite as cheaply. Smarty pants. So for your information, the best place in Ottawa to get the wooden matches that come in the little boxes of 30 is at Mountain Equipment Coop. You can get a package of 300 (10 boxes of 30) for a trifling $1.25. Elsewhere you'll pay around 30 cents a box. (If you manage to find them cheaper, tell me. Better yet, buy me lots.) So, buy very many. Thousands, even. You'll use them. (Incidentally, the sulfur of so many matches kept in one place will stink, so you may want to think twice before storing them in your sock drawer. Unless you think it will improve the odour.)

I use the little boxes when I'm going out for the night, but for home (or when I'm sedentary for a while at any rate) I use the slightly longer wooden matches that come 250 per box. Because of the size of the boxes, they're not as easy to travel with, but their extra length makes for a much more leisurely and thorough lighting. (And less burned finger tips, I might add.) You can buy these as packages of 2 (500 matches) for a few bucks at any grocery store. You could, of course, use fireplace matches but your pipe had better be the size of a soup bowl!

Good work!

So, now you're an expert at lighting your pipe. What's that? The heads of your matches keep crumbling off? The matches are breaking in two? You can't keep them lit? Your mother doesn't really love you? Okay, so maybe it is a little difficult. But don't worry, practice makes perfect. Just look at me!

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