Two weeks to go until we leave for Cameroon. Of course, that means I’ve started fretting like the proverbial old woman. I’ve also been reading as much as I can about Cameroon, which has made me even more alarmed. Truthfully, the cycling itself is the least of my concerns. Here’s what has me biting my nails:

1. That we might get nailed the $150 surcharge for each bicycle, on each leg of the trip. That could tally up to $600-900 extra for us, which is just insane considering that the total luggage of the average traveler will still be more than what we’ll have, bikes included. (They used to fly for free on international flights.)
2. That the bikes won’t arrive in Douala — especially if we check them right through while we enjoy our 3-day layover in Paris. (And if we don’t check them through, we have to drag them to our hotel and back, and run the risk of incurring the fees again.)
3. That the bikes will be damaged. Especially my folding bike, which is crammed pretty tightly into its luggage.
4. Getting through the airport in Douala to our hotel: It will be night, our hotel reservations aren’t confirmed, and there’s no one to meet us there. And the bikes might not fit into the taxi. To put into context why I'm nervous, here’s just one of many anecdotes I’ve read about the Douala airport:

Entering/Leaving Cameroon through Douala airport would have been an amusing experience if it wasn't so hot and humid and if it had happened to someone else. Firstly, on arrival, I had a huge heated row with the baggage handlers all desperate to handle any bags they could get their hands on - I won. Result - I started smoking again.

This seems to confirm to what David wrote about what we will encounter at the airport in his trip notes:

The Douala is a throw-back to the Africa of the mid-20th Century. On the one hand they meticulously play by the book and on the other hand there is absolutely no order. Prepare yourself with calming mantras for what, if you let it get to you, can be a very chaotic experience. First, you get to meet the customs, health and immigration officials. In the course of the procedures they will want to see your passport, vaccination certificate, immigration card, return plane ticket, baggage check tags and a stamped health slip. Turning logic on it head; it is free to have them do their job, or you can pay them (a bribe) to not work. If all of your documents are in order and you aren't carrying any contraband, take the "free" route. It will cost you about a minute of time and you avoid doing anything illegal. Say your mantra again to stay calm and take your time! At the same time you will be swarmed by an army of porters trying to get you to use their 'services'. If you decide to take one, they will push your cart 10 meters through customs and outside where they will demand a large 'tip'. They might also sub-contract for each meter of the trip and each of their cohorts will also demand a tip. If you do decide to take a porter then a good 'tip' is CFA500, US$1 or one euro. Anymore is robbery! They will want about four times this amount. If you decide not to use their service make it VERY CLEAR! "No merci!!!" Despite what the hustlers will imply, there is no rush and no advantage to their services — you will still have to fish for all of the documents, with or without them. Now, say your mantra again to stay calm. Act like you know what you are doing (even if you don't) and you will get through it. And, don't fear, the airport is not at all indicative of the rest of the country — more on this for the next two weeks.

When asked why they (police and gendarmerie officers) always collect bribes from drivers, the officer said, "We don't receive bribes, we simply ask for money whenever a driver's documents are not complete or even if they are complete, we need money," he said.

I love that quote.

As a general word of advice to any travelers to Cameroon: don’t read the travel alerts, especially the one from the US government. In the end, I think it does more harm to your psyche than good. (Then again, I start to think that as long as the trip doesn’t end with us getting murdered in our sleep, run off the road, or dead from disease it will be considered a success. In the event of our demise, I’d like to bequeath my pipe collection and tobacco cellar to Doug Duthie for distribution to the OPC members, past and present, as he sees fit. We’re sticking Julie with the cat. The rest will probably be snapped up by our creditors.)

The general course of events leading up to this trip has also caused me to wonder if there’s a curse. David, our trip leader, hasn’t been able to confirm our reservations. Or recruit an assistant guide. One of our companions had to bail out of the trip due to a emergency surgery. That leaves only 3 of us, plus our guide. So, at any rate, we should get to know each other very well. (For which I already feel bad about, considering what a grump I am when I haven’t eaten. Or when I’m tired. Actually, I’m not that nice in general. But that’s our little secret. Ha ha.) And although it’s lucky for us, David must also be cursing the decline of the US dollar, which will be cutting into what must be very, very slim profit margins with such a small clientele.

All in all, though, I feel we’re more-or-less prepared. The travel doctor updated our vaccinations, with the effect that we could barely move our arms for a week. (And since I have a rabies vaccination from my trip to Uganda, the doctor told me – in all seriousness – that I should ride at the back of the group and carry a stick to beat off any rabid dogs.) We’ve also been going to the gym in the mornings to work out. Ironically, we’ve done very little cycling – it’s just too hard to work into our schedule. However, our trip out East in June has left me reasonably confident in my level of fitness. I can’t speak for Gill, who is somewhat terrified of being left behind. Of course, I wouldn’t let that happen… unless there are rabid dogs chasing us.

So all that’s left, really — besides minor, routine preparations — is to check that Gill’s bicycle is still locked in the parking garage – and to equip it with a rack, bottle cages, and get it into a box.

Many of you will wonder at this point why we’ve decided to go on such a crazy place. The answer, of course, is complicated. I won’t try to explain, though — you either “get it”, or you don’t. Suffice to say that despite all our worries, the trip is very likely to go pretty smoothly and will be eminently gratifying on many levels.

One person has commented on this article.

 No.1  Hey!

Hi, I was just googling some random biking/africa sites and stumbled across your website again. It looks really good! I am so excited.

By the way, I'm bring my mosquito tent just in case. I know David said it wasn't necessary since he says most places will have netting, but I just want to be safe.

Talk to you two soon!

Il Kim (Unregistered) • 2007-10-20 20:08:34

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